You’re not alone in being cheated on

It can feel incredibly lonely when you realise someone you once loved has betrayed your trust. Please remember, it’s not your fault for believing in the wrong person. Anyone can be cheated on, and you’re certainly not alone in this. That said, there are numerous public examples of people who were cheated on and, through sheer grit and tenacity, attained remarkable success despite the betrayal. Take inspiration, and know that a brighter future can emerge. 

Studies suggest that a significant minority of long-term relationships experience infidelity at some stage, so what you’re going through is not a sign that there is something uniquely wrong with you. Some people, no matter how decent they once seemed, can turn out to be completely untrustworthy. Sadly, even those who look like the perfect partner from the outside can end up being anything but. On the flip side, there is no characteristic that could have prevented the cheating. You see accomplished people get cheated on all the time, despite how desirable they may appear.

The many examples of cheating in the public eye; and of thriving after

George Lopez cheated on his wife of 17 years even after she donated a kidney to him. After the organ donation, Lopez was quoted as saying: 

“I was crying. I thanked her and I told her I loved her. I was more concerned about her than I was about myself.…I can’t pay her back, but what I can do is make her as happy as she thought I would when we first got married.” 

Clearly, he didn’t honour his words nor his marriage vow when he cheated!

Yet, despite the devastation of cheating, many people eventually emerge from the tragedy thriving in ways they never expected. Numerous examples exist: Hillary Clinton was cheated on by Bill Clinton in a case that shocked the nation. She continued to stay in the marriage, but later became a political heavyweight in her own right. Agatha Christie wrote many of her best masterpieces after her ex-husband divorced her to marry his mistress. Brandon Flowers wrote the pop-hit Mr Brightside after he was cheated on by his girlfriend. Robert Pattinson was cheated on by Kristen Stewart, and he went on to play Batman.

In Hong Kong, Sammi Cheng and Kenneth Ma were both cheated on. Their respective partners were caught holding hands and kissing in a taxi back in 2019. Kenneth decided to end things with his partner then. A year later, in January 2020, he won his first Best Actor award after 12 nominations. Sammi chose to forgive her husband and pursue reconciliation. In 2023, she won Best Actress at the Hong Kong Film Awards. 

Each of these people had their private humiliation become part of public gossip. Yet their stories show that betrayal can be left behind in the past. However, these stories aren’t meant to dictate that you must become famous or wealthy. They simply show that there is a way out from the darkness you may now be enveloped in.

For readers in Singapore, an example closer to home is Lee Syafiq, who discovered that his fiancee was seeing someone else just months before his wedding. Today, he runs the successful Ashes Burnnit, a chain of burger outlets.

Your future is still yours

Infidelity can happen to anyone, regardless of fame, wealth, or background. People get unlucky all the time, whether it’s being caught up in an accident or facing an illness. If you’ve been cheated on, it isn’t because of some flaw in you or because you are inherently cursed. You just happened to cross paths with someone who didn’t deserve your trust. It really is just bad luck, and the good news is, luck often has a way of balancing out over time. You may struggle with the red flags you missed, but the brain is supposed to trust someone we’ve bonded with; betrayal trauma is particularly painful because it violates that expected safety.

Remember, being cheated on says everything about the person who was unfaithful and nothing about your worth. Cheaters often try to justify their actions, but their choices are their own. You trusted, and that was a strength, not a weakness. More importantly, it doesn’t define who you are. Healing isn’t quick or easy. Some who have been cheated on find that it takes years rather than months to truly recover from betrayal, often in the range of two to five years. With the right support, the most intense pain usually softens much earlier, but it’s normal for healing to be a long-term process.

Many people have been through this and through sheer force of their willpower come out the other side, free from the burden of a cheating partner and basking in their new success. You will too.